A Journey to Stillness, Part 3
It is now a week since I last wrote. It amazes me how much shifts in a week. With my plan to be silent, I have found so much of life intruding. Dealing with some family emergency stuff, being in a place where there is no cell phone or Internet service, I have had to find places to be in touch with family and to be available. I am learning that what I thought would be possible is actually not possible. However, I am finding such a place in my heart where there is silence; where the stillness I have so longed for is growing, even in the midst of life circumstances. I was so certain I needed to get away to find that quiet. Alas, it has been available to me all the time!
The other morning, I was driving into Zion Canyon. It was early and the sun was finding it’s way into the Canyon. I came around a corner, and there on a bluff was a small herd of Big Horn Sheep. I could only stop and stare at the amazing sight of those often private creatures grazing on that bluff, with the sun shining down on them. I will remember that sight a long time. The light wasn’t such that I could capture it with my camera, but I captured it in my heart.
Each day, as a part of my morning ritual, I ask myself, what do I want to do today? I have been beginning these days with Meditation, some Yoga and just listening to the stillness. Using the essential oils that April from our local health food co- op so generously supplied me, to help ground me and to help set whatever energy I am working with or towards. I am working daily on grounding, running my energy, filling myself up with the quiet strength that this red rock country has always provided me.
I have been observing what my mind does with these long days that stretch out before me. I can see how easy it is for me to fill my life with what I am sure is necessary each day. I can see how easily I distract myself. The purpose of this trip was to have time to rest, spend uninterrupted time with me. To be silent and to just listen. To allow stillness to arise all by itself. So, here I am a couple of weeks into my time alone and I find myself in such a different place than I could have imagined. Some of it is just life. And learning to be with what life brings. To find acceptance for just what is, and to feel the difference in what I do that is distraction.
The place in me that gives into distraction is a curiosity to me. I find I cope much more seamlessly with what life just brings than with the distractions I create. I am seeing that I have learned to deal with what life brings much more from a place of patience, acceptance and compassion. It is what I bring on myself that I lack the same acceptance, patience and compassion with.